Now that 2011 is over…

It’s time to bid farewell to 2011 and welcome 2012.

I’m happy that 2011 is over and I’m excited and a bit fearful for what 2012 will be for me. 2011 for me was so hard. From the very start of this year, I’ve encounter a lot of problems that almost break me.  Many of those problems were things I’ve never experienced before and became an eye opener for me to see the reality of life. It’s like a roller coaster ride and if I will define 2011, it’ll be TEARS! Yeah, I lost a lot of tears this year. Aside from problems, I also face tragic failures and rejections. It’s hard when I see people living my dreams while I, on the other side, was being deprived of the things that I really want for my life.  I’ve been on my darkest days and honestly I never expected that I will survive this year. There comes a time that I really want to give up because I don’t think that I can take it anymore.

I can imagine my life was like a punching bag, continuously being punched. I remember a time when I really exclaim, WHAT A BLOW! When will this problems end? Oh well, I still have lots of problems this days but thank God that I survived 2011 with my sanity still intact!

Perhaps one good thing that 2011 taught me was that God has a lot of better things in store for us way much better than what we could ever think of. As a Christian, I know that life would never be easy in this world. I also believe that He will provide everything that I need. But this year, I can say that God really allow many afflictions in my life, many of those things I still don’t understand why. Honestly, I’d been in the point where I am really mad at Him. I’m trying to understand everything that He’s doing in my life but I really can’t. Sometimes I wish that He would just speak to me directly and explain everything.

But God didn’t work that way. As it is written in Isaiah 55:8-9, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.  “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

In my case, unconsciously, I want to run my own life and do whatever I want. I’ve forgotten that my God has his own plan for me. I’ve been in the point where my own desires and God’s will collide and it’s hard, really hard. I’ve got to let go many things that’s really important for me. The valuable lesson I’ve learned from all my experiences is that, when you’ve really committed yourself to do God’s will and surrender to His plans, though you have to sacrifice many of your own personal desires, it wouldn’t be that painful and surprisingly it will lead you to an incredible moment of worship.

This 2011, I’ve learned to trust the divine plans of God. I also realize many weaknesses that I didn’t know I have. I can say that I’m a lot stronger now, emotionally and spiritually. I thank God that He’s always there to guide me in every step that I take. Though sometimes I feel like He had neglected me, He’s there. He gives me strength to carry on.

Those problems are like vines that coiled tightly around me, too tight that I have to look up to breath. As I look up, I see that God has prepared greater things for my life and He just want me to trust Him. It took me one whole painful year to learn the essence of surrendering to God’s will. I’ve level up my faith.

I don’t know what will I face this 2012, but 2011 is a good training for me. Now I’m not afraid of what lies ahead because I know that my God will always be with me and that’s more than enough.

Praise God for his wonderful ways in teaching His children how to be more like Him. Praise God for another year and another chance to worship Him. Thank God for His love. Thank God for choosing a sinner like me. Praise Him for this indescribable gift called life! Praise Him for His son Jesus who willingly gave up his life just to save us.

Thank you Lord for everything and sorry if I always fail you.

God is the strength of my heart! :))